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A while back I wrote Massage Etiquette? ! as a response to the many comments people make about their bodies not being acceptable for massage. You can reread that here before diving into Part 2.

I decided on a Part 2 because there are so many other questions and concerns clients have. From tipping tips to scheduling scenarios to more communication stuff, I am going to try to cover it all here.

Tipping

I never realized hot much of a hot button issue tipping can be until I became a massage therapist in 2016 and had to consider tipping as part of my business. I always get many questions about tipping, especially lately, for some reason, but I have been putting off this post because its uncomfortable for me to address. Talking about money always triggers my limiting beliefs about my value as a therapist and a person. It’s just weird to put a price on yourself whether it’s pricing for massages or tipping.

The United States is one of the only countries in the world that utilizes tipping. I’ve heard that service workers in other countries actually take offense when an American leaves a tip. Tipping is a normalized system in the US that most of us do not question. But it is weird when you start to think about it! Should patrons have to make up for employers choosing to not pay a living wage to staff? Probably not, but that’s often the case. And god forbid an employee is a human and messes up, resulting in less tip money or no tip at all and sometimes only minimum wage pay for that hour or so they served the patron.

It’s a weird messy system, but it’s still customary here and many of us in the service industry depend on tips. I personally choose to keep my prices to average for the Bozeman area and leave room for tipping. This doesn’t mean I will judge you if you do not tip! I personally tip all service workers and have increased the amount I tip since the begging of the pandemic. Unless a service business specifically says they are “gratuity free”, plan on tipping the workers whether they are the sole proprietor or a staff member of the business. Tattoo artists, baristas, tow truck drivers, bar tenders, massage therapists/bodyworkers, food servers… you get the idea. Many people ask me how much others tip on average. In my industry, most people tip 25%. Do what you will with this information

Waiting Room

My office is a bit weird as there is a shoe & coat area outside of the waiting room itself. I have a no-shoes policy in my office year round. You may find I move your shoes to the mat outside my office if they have been left in the waiting room. After removing your shoes and placing them on one of the mats outside the office, enter the waiting room quietly. You may then have some tea or water while you wait for the red door to open. Please note that if you arrive more than 20 minutes early, you may have to wait in the hallway/shoe area as I may not even be there yet.

Scheduling

I require first time clients to book online. This is to familiarize them with how Schedulicity works and ensures they can get the slot they desire before someone else does. This also secures your appointment with a credit or debit card protects me from no-shows. I prefer all clients book online. In person with me after your massage is good too. I am not always available via text or phone call to book your massages for you. By using the online system, you can easily see my entire schedule at one time and match it to yours. This is so much better than sending 100 back and forth texts to find the right date and time.

However, if after looking online you do not see something that works for you, please do text! Again, I may not be able to get back to you right away, but I may have a time slot available that I do not post online. Sometimes I may be able to move some things around for you or put you on the waitlist. You can also put yourself on the waitlist on Schedulicity. You will receive notification if someone cancels and your preferred time slot opens.

When it comes to cancellations, I have a 24 hour cancellation policy. You will not be able to cancel your appointment online if it is less than 24 hours away. You will also be charged a late cancellation fee, which is the full price of your scheduled massage. Please call or text if you do have to cancel after the 24 hour window. I will never charge the late cancellation fee for emergencies.

More on Communication

After rereading Massage Etiquette?! myself, I realized there was even more to say about communication. After all, it is the most important aspect of any relationship, eh? Communication is important because it brings understanding, even when there is disagreement. When we advocate for ourselves by communication our needs, those needs can be more easily met. Some communication is better than none!

Have you ever had a massage or other treatment and left feeling like you didn’t get what you needed? Did you communicate before and during your massage about your needs? While many massage therapists and bodyworkers are extremely intuitive, we aren’t perfect. If a certain technique, pressure, depth, or anything else is not your cup of tea, always say so! It’s better to advocate for yourself and get the massage you paid for than to feel uncomfortable and white-knuckle your way through a massage. Talking during a massage is fine. Talk to me!

With the exception of talking about the massage itself, I used to find talking during a massage distracting. While this is still true to some extent, I now see talking as part of the therapy itself. Some people find after venting or sharing, they can relax more. The more I learn about how the body keeps score of our traumas and stress, the more I am totally ok with talking during massage! I may not be as attentive on the massage itself, but necessary therapy is happening nonetheless.

However, if you want my full focus, but still feel the need to release some thoughts or work on some trauma, EFT before your massage is the way to go. Clients who schedule an EFT session before their massage find less of a need to talk during the massage and say that they became the most relaxed ever when compared to just massage. Whatever your needs, I am here to listen and accommodate when able.

I hope this helps clarify anything that may have been lingering in your mind. If you do have any questions or thoughts, please feel free to reach out to me via text, email, or at your next massage.

See you on my table soon!
Amy: 406-539-4691, amysepiphanies@gmail.com

This Fourth of July I am celebrating a different kind of freedom: that of the shackles of the mind. Many things contribute to why we end up locked in to negative and limiting beliefs or belief systems about ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Trauma is likely the most prominent reason for our holding on so tightly to limiting beliefs.

The Body Holds Onto Traumas of All Kinds

According to the top trauma expert Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, trauma is stored in the body and requires not only verbal processing, but especially movement or stimulation of the body in order to truly be processed and healed. There are a wide array of wonderful modalities and activities that can stimulate releasing of trauma. Many of them mind+body techniques that re-establish the connection of the mind to the body, and the body to the mind as well as calming the Vagus Nerve which overreacts when the body goes into fight or flight. My personal favorites are:

• Massage Therapy especially Myofascial Release.
• EMDR & Brainspotting
• Acupunture
• Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Acupoint Tapping
• cold plunging+hot soaking & sauna
• yoga
• sound therapy
• mindfulness meditation of the body & or breat
• 4-7-8 breathing
• Psychedelic Experiencing
• Hypnosis

There are so many ways to stimulate the same healing response in the body! The way to heal trauma is the same no matter who we are and what when have been through. Trauma is all the same to the body and how it can limit our experiences. However, I noticed a trend in our culture in which we shame ourselves (and others) for reacting to or holding onto trauma from what we label as “small insignificant trauma” when others in the world experience much more horrific traumas daily. Doing this will only reinforce the trauma and keep you stuck in a cycle of shame. You can now stop doing this to yourself. You hereby have permission to feel as deeply and lengthily as you need to about anything that’s happened to you in your life. Give the same compassion you have for other’s deep trauma to yourself and any and all of your traumas.

Compassion Is Reciprocal, Cumulative, And Infinite!

The more you give yourself, the more you have available to give to others. The more you give to others when your cup of compassion is full, the more you have available to give to yourself.. and on and on. Give yourself as much compassion as you need. This could lead you to a place of allowance of these traumas, so you can move them out of the body and shatter the limiting beliefs that throw ya out of alignment with the deepest, true self. Acceptance is the First Step, right?😉

Wanna celebrate freedom with me this month? Here’s my idea: Pick a modality or activity that is accessible to you and integrate it into your daily routine a few times. Maybe try something new to you. Or, reinvigorate an old practice. Use the form below to tell me about your experiences. I’d love to share some of your testimonies. All commenters will remain anonymous. I too will experinces my experiences and write about all  of our things in August.

Let freedom ring, baby. You deserve it.

Name *

your name will not be published

Email *

your email will not be published

Tell me about the trauma healing techniques you tried in the month of July 2023 *

This will not be published without your permission. In 5-500 words or more, tell me about your experience with the technique you chose and your observations. Include any questions or sidetones if you wish. Note if there is anything you’d like left out about your experience when I share our results in a newsletter in August.

Checkboxes *

• Please feel free to publish anything from my story!
• I’ve indicated about what I would like shared publicly and what I do not want shared
• For Amy’s eyes only!

Submit

Wait.. “I’m supposed to behave a certain way when receiving massage“, you ask? The short answer is “no”. And here comes the long answer.

Many clients apologize for the current state of their bodies when receiving massage. “I’m so sorry I didn’t shave before I came! Ugh!”  is the most common. I always respond in the same way: “it doesn’t bother me! And you don’t have to shave for anyone.” I also might explain that when a person comes in with freshly shaved or waxed and lubricated legs it can actually interfere with certain modalities such as Myofascial Release, for which I need a certain amount of friction. Any lotions or other lubricating products don’t interact well with my oil causing a less than ideal glide and grip for Swedish and deep tissue massage techniques. But that’s just a side note and not what I’m really here to discuss in this post.  

Another common worry is stinky feet. Ah. Yes. We’ve all had this issue at one time or another. Honestly after the thousands of massages I’ve given, stinky feet so overwhelming that I can’t stand it has only come up once! Even then it was not a big deal. While it would be nice to shower before a massage, it’s not always possible. The client mentioned their feet as a concern so I began the massage with hot towels and essential oils. It not only got rid of the stink, it was so soothing for my client who had been in their work boots and on their feet for 12 hours that day. All it took was a little communication. 

Ah. Communication. One of the most important aspects of massage (and ALL relationships), in fact. Letting me know what’s going on for you beforehand, whether it‘s stinky feet or sensitive calves, is essential to getting the massage you want and need. During massage there is also non-verbal communication, which most seasoned massage-receivers are very familiar with. A deep breath as I approach a tender or extremely tight area tells me to slow down a little and really tune into that specific area, for instance. With the exhale I am then able to go a little deeper and release the muscle tension or trigger point more than without the breath. 

Stinky feet, hairy legs, being skinny, being fat, having “too many trouble areas”… there are so many things clients have apologized for over the years. It is something that makes me sad, actually. As a person who has been in recovery for years from eating disorders and severe body image issues, I have a lot of compassion for people who feel they must apologize for having a body. I believe every body and everybody deserves massage. The comments clients make about their bodies may seem very casual and normal. This is only because it’s been normalized in our society to have shame about our bodies. There are entire industries, such as the weight loss industry, which makes more than $70 billion a year (and growing!) in the US alone feeding that shame cycle and convincing us our bodies are wrong the way they currently are. That industry also has a 98% failure rate, just in case you were wondering. But I digressed a little.

When preparing yourself for your next massage, consider this list of “etiquettes”: 

•do a quick scan of your body to become clear about what it is you are feeling and what areas you’d like me to focus on 

•let go of the idea that you must shave or paint your toe nails before being taken care of 

•remind yourself you are perfect just the way you are and you deserve to be taken care of no matter how hairy or stinky you are

•visualize completely letting go of insecurities and surrendering to being cared for

•thank yourself for allowing healing touch as part of your SelfCare 

See you, your skinny hairy legs, bald head, fat belly, and your stinky feet on my table soon!

💚Amy

Everyone deserves a beneficial treatment massage! Skin color, sexual orientation, sexual identity, what you eat, social status, what you do for a living, how busy or not busy you are, how you exercise, and weight do not determine whether you deserve a massage (and are also not indicative of your health status)! Those with anxiety in these areas find it intimidating to allow their body to be cared for by healthcare practitioners. Some people even have trauma related to unfortunate experiences with healthcare practitioners. Receiving massage can be very difficult for those who are victims of abuse and shame or those have self-harm scars, body dysmorphia, or an eating disorder.

I invite you to learn trust again through allowing vulnerability. Let’s take your healing process to the next level in the safe environment of my massage space. Treatment massage is not only beneficial for the physical body, but also for the nervous system and mental health. Call me to design a massage that’s right for you and where you are right now. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and massage can be combined to further your healing from trauma and shame. Let’s heal you, one massage at a time!

Boundaries are everything. That’s what I’ve discovered of the years. Here are some of the many boundaries: Social, romantic, nutritional, environmental, monetary, energetic, emotional, physical, spiritual… of course, those are not the only types of boundaries, but you get the idea. Some aspects of our lives need tight boundaries, some need more loose boundaries. They can also shift based on one’s changing needs. When in alignment with your needs, boundaries help protect and heal. Boundaries help one stay true to themselves. I don’t hesitate when I say I believe boundaries and boundary awareness are the most important piece of your wellness! Once you start to understand and explore your own boundaries, I think you’ll agree!